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Always with the Wrong Trombone

from Some Philharmonic by Some Philharmonic

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about

music and lyrics by Brian Woodbury

lyrics

BARKER: The iceman cometh,
and the bandleader, take it away.
MR. PEP: So you wanna be in pictures, that's okay.
BARKER: That's old hat.
MR. PEP:That's old hat?
BARKER: That's old hat.
MR. PEP:That's old hat.
BARKER: That's okay.
MR. PEP:That's old hat.
BARKER: That's okay that's old hat.
MR. PEP:That's old hat!
BARKER: That's sold out. That one's okay.
DIRECTOR: Lights, camera, action!
MISS DISCREET: It's a learning experience you'll never forget.
STEVE: Always with the wrong trombone!
ALL: Not now, Steve!
DRUNK: In the pool, martini -- balancing martinis in his hand.
LEADING MAN & BARKER: He knows his stuff/his nose is stuffed.
DIRECTOR: Down the hatch!
DRUNK: Martini beverage in his mouth.
DIRECTOR: Mud in your eye.
DRUNK: Liquid inside out.
BARKER: That's okay.
MR. PEP: Brown-baggin' it
LEADING MAN: Bound and gaggin' it.
DIRECTOR: Hit the deck.

MR. CREDIT: All the white guys who want to be black guys.
ALL: Always with the wrong trombone.
MISS DISCREET: Everything that smells bad, smells bad the same.
MISS DISCREET & LEADING MAN: Everything that smells bad, smells bad the same. etc.
DOG LOVER: I love dogs, I love dogs not, I love dogs, I love dogs not, etc.
ALL: Everything that smells bad, smells bad the same.

LEADING MAN: Oh, I saved MY part of the world. What happened to YOU guys? I was doin' my bit, pluggin' away. What happened to YOU?
MR. CREDIT: All the white guys who ain't never gonna be black guys. You either ARE the twentieth century or you IS the twentieth century. Hash it or re-hash it.

MR. PEP: I'm its greatest spokesman, its mildest critic, its mentor.
MISS DISCREET: And when everybody's dressed to beat the bandwagon.
BARKER: And the bandwagoneer, take 'em away.

MR. CREDIT: All the white guys who used to be black guys...
BARKER: That's sold out.
ALL: Swing that nasty trombone.
DIRECTOR: Whose band are we in anyway?
STEVE: The count can't count.
MR. PEP: You don't say.
MISS DISCREET: We're talkin' eggheads and coconut shells.

MISS DISCREET & DIRECTOR: He's got a way with words, but he won't get away this time.
STEVE: Always with the wrong trombone.
ALL: Not now, Steve.
LEADING MAN: Later.
MR. PEP: Oh... Shiver me timbres.

LEADING MAN: Save ME some. I saved my part, where were YOU guys?
DIRECTOR: Okay, take it from measure 49 and get it right this time.
LEADING MAN: I don't know much about the '50s. History forgets itself. Even children get older. Don't know much about biology. History forgives itself. Even children get older. Shirley Temple, Tom Collins, Mickey Finn...? Tennis, anyhow?

credits

from Some Philharmonic, released June 20, 1983
vocals: Brian Woodbury (BARKER), Victor Zupanc (MR. PEP), Carmen Borgia (DIRECTOR), Elma Mayer (MISS DISCREET), Steve Knopoff (STEVE), John Goss (DRUNK), Tom Rettig (LEADING MAN), Joe Moe (MR. CREDIT), Deane Rettig (DOG LOVER); drums David Friendly, piano Elma Mayer, guitar Tom Rettig, violin & accordion Victor Zupanc, xylophone, percussion, harmonica Deane Rettig, clarinet Chris Klich, trombone Steve Knopoff

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Some Philharmonic Los Angeles, California

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